The Flyer- One White Hat

I want to get a quick blog post up about something that has haunted my mailbox since I was a child. It's called The Flyer....

i have no idea what cities it circulates in or the history of this "thinner than cheap toilet paper" publication but it comes in the mail weekly and I always, always throw it out....until now! We went to an Easter egg hunt at our friends house and after the hunt Avery just wanted to "sit on the chouch and relax" so since she's the boss, we did as such. We walked in our friends living room and she had the cutest kiddie brown suede recliner. I want one. I asked her where she got it and she said the 2 words that make me cringe "The Flyer", she bought a set of 2 for $25 from some lady.

Fine, I'll give The Flyer a chance, so 2 days later on that tuesday "it" comes in the mail as scheduled and I open it, I give it a chance, I spend a good 15 minutes hunting for something, anything.
When I come across a guy that's selling a handful of nuts and bolts for $3. Pause. I take it in and start. What would I say to this guy when i call asking about his nuts and bolts for $3, will he take $2? REALLY? Why didn't he just throw them away? Is someone really going to buy these??

Then I continue, after the imaginary scenario I made up in my head about buying the nuts and bolts,   

I find an ad for "one white hat-$10" um? Ok, I have to call, what I am assuming is an old lady selling a hat? What kind of hat? Do you have a blue hat or just one white hat that you HAD TO PUT an ad in the paper to try and sell.

you can't see the actual add but just to give you a visual of how The flyer is laid out. Tons and tons of randomness

I had no choice, my curiosity got to me and I called the number inquiring about the "one white hat"


me: Hi, I'm calling about your one white hat you have for sale in the Flyer.
old lady(I was right): oh yes
me: why are you selling your hat, is it still white? Can I wear it to The Kentucky Derby?
old lady: oh sweetie, I don't know what the Kentucky derby is but it's a church hat and if you're interested I have many hats you can look at.
me: nope, just interested in the white hat.
old lady: why do you keep saying "white hat?"
me: um, because that's what it says in the Flyer.
old lady: omigosh, the ad was supposed to read "a ton of nice hats"
me: PAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Well your ad reads "one white hat" thanks anyway, I'm really in the market for a white hat. Bye.


You can't make this up and there are a ton more where that came from. If you want to meet me for some Flyer fun, meet me at my house on Tuesdays.