Monday, November 28, 2011
How Corny is my Cornice?
When my sis moved into her new house I decided to make her something vs. helping her move. Since I myself was moving a few weeks later I didn't want to help her move, so the deal was I don't help her, she doesn't help me. I shot myself in the foot on that one! So this is what I made her: a cornice board for her window. I wanted to try to make one and it was super easy and fun and came out nice. I will make more, I will. The total cost for this was about $30 and they sell on line for hundreds of dollars.
Measure your window and have a piece of wood cut a few inches longer. Depending how far off the window you want it to stick out, have two side pieces of wood cut for the sides. Take some wood glue and glue the two side pieces on then take small L brackets and screw them in to secure the sides to the main panel.
Buy some batting from the craft store and spray adhesive. Spray the crap out of the wood and cover with batting. Pick a pretty fabric and cover your board, pulling it tight and staple gun it all around, making it look neat and tight.
Screw large L brackets above window and hang your cornice! Easy, breezy, beautiful.
Buy some batting from the craft store and spray adhesive. Spray the crap out of the wood and cover with batting. Pick a pretty fabric and cover your board, pulling it tight and staple gun it all around, making it look neat and tight.
Screw large L brackets above window and hang your cornice! Easy, breezy, beautiful.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Salvation Army + a Benadryl
I ventured out to go treasure hunting yesterday with my mom's friend Teresa who says "the real treasures are at Salvation Army in South Tampa. An oxymoron, yes, a good time, well a little sneezy but I picked this little bench up for $5 and martha-ed the heck out of it. Avery's room is owl themed and this is gonna look so cute. I plan on going back to the treasure store, but this time I will pop a Claritin D before I head in there.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Craft-astic Monday
I found spray paint to be more than just cheapy and stinky....
That was easy.....
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Just call me Scrappy
So like every other resolution, I have failed once again. Not only have I not blogged in awhile like I wanted to, I haven't blogged in so long I forgot my password. Moving on. I wanted to post one big super post about our move and our project house but it's too much so I will do it in stages. The short of the long is:
We found a great house, in a great neighborhood and snatched it up as our "investment property". Now we are living here and love it, love it. It feels like home. The real wood floors that creak in the best spots and the 5 minute drive to anywhere. Baby, I'm back in Hillsborough County! Ahhh, the air smells better, the schools feel nicer, there isn't a K-mart or Winn Dixie for miles and I couldn't be happier. The house is a fun fixer upper and we get to pick our bathrooms, paints, molding all that fun stuff. We put a new roof on and large down payment so I think we're poor and it's kinda fun. I have become very scrappy and have found ways to make old things new with a little sweat equity and paint. My love for Pinterest has taken a hold of my life and I have conquered the stripping.
I took this hallway that was a horrible shade of green and turned it into something fun. I painted the hallway a graphite gray and then striped with a coordinating color of Ashes. Behr primer and paint in one is my boyfriend this month. The stripes are 7 inches thick and with the help of my laser level, double sided tape to hold the laser to the wall and some blue painters tape I was able to knock this out in about 4 hours. It took about 3 hours to get the lines perfect and about an hour to paint.
Over the girls doors I bought some white letters from Jo-Ann Fabrics, sprayed them silver and then sprayed a thin coat of glitter spray. Added some scrap booking stickers and used velcro to hang them on the wall. Pretty crafty eh?
In the middle of the hallway was an old cabinet that Albert wanted to rip out and put a little table there. But since I like to salvage things now I wouldn't let him. I bought a quart of Rustoleum in silver, bought 2 knobs and for $17 turned a dingy yellowy cabinet into my wrapping paper quarters.
All I need is a mirror above it and the hallway will be complete. I will be hitting a goodwill for a cheap mirror that I will make over. Who am I?
I made this short and sweet and will post some more DIY things. I have carple tunnel from the more than 2800 sq ft of painting I have done on my own. You have no idea the colors that were here before and now it is updated and fancy. For the trim around the doors I found Glidden's oil based high gloss gel flow technology trim paint is the absolute best! You think you have nice trim, wait until you slap some of this on. So shiny and white. You never notice the small things that make a house but the next thing that's bothering me are the door hinges. You can get a pack of brushed nickel hinges at Home Depot for a few dollars and will make all the difference. See the ugly gold hinges on this door? Doesn't match my pretty hallway!
Toodles....
We found a great house, in a great neighborhood and snatched it up as our "investment property". Now we are living here and love it, love it. It feels like home. The real wood floors that creak in the best spots and the 5 minute drive to anywhere. Baby, I'm back in Hillsborough County! Ahhh, the air smells better, the schools feel nicer, there isn't a K-mart or Winn Dixie for miles and I couldn't be happier. The house is a fun fixer upper and we get to pick our bathrooms, paints, molding all that fun stuff. We put a new roof on and large down payment so I think we're poor and it's kinda fun. I have become very scrappy and have found ways to make old things new with a little sweat equity and paint. My love for Pinterest has taken a hold of my life and I have conquered the stripping.
In the middle of the hallway was an old cabinet that Albert wanted to rip out and put a little table there. But since I like to salvage things now I wouldn't let him. I bought a quart of Rustoleum in silver, bought 2 knobs and for $17 turned a dingy yellowy cabinet into my wrapping paper quarters.
I made this short and sweet and will post some more DIY things. I have carple tunnel from the more than 2800 sq ft of painting I have done on my own. You have no idea the colors that were here before and now it is updated and fancy. For the trim around the doors I found Glidden's oil based high gloss gel flow technology trim paint is the absolute best! You think you have nice trim, wait until you slap some of this on. So shiny and white. You never notice the small things that make a house but the next thing that's bothering me are the door hinges. You can get a pack of brushed nickel hinges at Home Depot for a few dollars and will make all the difference. See the ugly gold hinges on this door? Doesn't match my pretty hallway!
Toodles....
Sunday, September 18, 2011
National Garbage Sale Day
My favorite time of year is coming next weekend, nope not fall or Chanukah, but neighborhood garage sale time! It comes twice a year, one in the spring and one in the fall. We have have had 3 so far and make an average of about $1,000 each time. Our neighbors across the street walk over and say "holy sh*t, where exactly does all that stuff come from?" Answer: I have no idea! It's a ton of clothes and toys and when I actually bought nice clothes for myself people would line up and fight over my stuff. Last year I set up a dressing room so people can try on my clothes. HA! It was so fun. I love busting out a fanny pack filled with change and haggle the customers. Albert never allowed me to squirrel away "my Miller trinkets and trash" but every so often an old box of koozies or last years NASCAR hats would wind up in the garage. Since it's illegal to sell them we would get a bull horn and run a red light special " FOR 10 MINUTES ONLY, BUY SOMETHING AND GET A FREE HAT!" Now, that's how you get the people going.
The girls set up a little lemonade stand and I get to teach them about profit/loss and ROI.......
It goes like this: figure out how many customers you anticipate per hour X the # of hours you plan on keeping the lemonade stand open. Then make a list of your supplies and the cost, they also want to sell bottle waters. Now there's the moneymaker. From there you can figure out how much lemonade powder and cups you need. You can also factor in how much you think your time is worth. Now set a price per cup. Do you have any money for the supplies? No. Okay, I will lend it to you and you can pay be back from the profits. I won't charge interest since you will only borrow the $$ for about 2 days. A seven year old and three year old completely understand what I'm talking about.
They charge .50 cents a cup and that gets you lemonade and a free sample bag of Pirate's Booty compliments of Aunt Steph. It's also good to run a promotional item at your sales. So typically people give them $1 and say they're cute and move on. At the end of the day they make about $50 and after paying me back my $6 for supplies they need to split the rest. About an hour after we close up our garage sale we MUST hit the toy store because $22 in their "poggy bank" means nothing. We head to the store and without fail they want something that cost more than $22, and we give in because they worked so hard and we're tired and I have a wad of ones in my purse that for some reason when you spend ones it doesn't feel like you're spending money. It usually cost me another $20 bucks!
That's the last time I invest in a franchised lemonade stand! Business Fail.
Albert and I play this little game, we each put something totally random out and whoever sells their item first wins King/Queen of the garage sale. Last year he found a questionable comforter from his college days that probably hadn't been washed since then and an old pillow (you can see it in the top left picture at the bottom of the driveway). My item was this awful suede coat with some lamb fur lined on the inside. He thought the coat was still cool because he bought it at Wilson's leather............15 years ago We had put it out at the last 2 garage sales and it DIDN'T SELL and each time he toted it back in his closet. So this past spring sale I made that my feature item. The rules are you have to stick to your price and promote it until it sells. I added a tie to it (as a free giveaway with purchase), don't mess with a marketer and hung it separately with a special sign. I was sure to win! About 10 minutes into the garage sale an older woman walks up and no kidding, asks how much the comforter and pillow are??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Have you not seen the weird white stains on it??? Well Albert wore the crown, she paid $6 for the pillow and comforter. The suede lamb coat sold at the end when we were slashing prices.
So next Saturday is the big fall neighborhood garage sale and since we are moving we are cleaning out every single nook and selling what we don't need or anything that won't fit in the "new decor". We haven't picked our "featured item" yet but I plan on winning this year.
I love garbage sale day!
The girls set up a little lemonade stand and I get to teach them about profit/loss and ROI.......
It goes like this: figure out how many customers you anticipate per hour X the # of hours you plan on keeping the lemonade stand open. Then make a list of your supplies and the cost, they also want to sell bottle waters. Now there's the moneymaker. From there you can figure out how much lemonade powder and cups you need. You can also factor in how much you think your time is worth. Now set a price per cup. Do you have any money for the supplies? No. Okay, I will lend it to you and you can pay be back from the profits. I won't charge interest since you will only borrow the $$ for about 2 days. A seven year old and three year old completely understand what I'm talking about.
They charge .50 cents a cup and that gets you lemonade and a free sample bag of Pirate's Booty compliments of Aunt Steph. It's also good to run a promotional item at your sales. So typically people give them $1 and say they're cute and move on. At the end of the day they make about $50 and after paying me back my $6 for supplies they need to split the rest. About an hour after we close up our garage sale we MUST hit the toy store because $22 in their "poggy bank" means nothing. We head to the store and without fail they want something that cost more than $22, and we give in because they worked so hard and we're tired and I have a wad of ones in my purse that for some reason when you spend ones it doesn't feel like you're spending money. It usually cost me another $20 bucks!
That's the last time I invest in a franchised lemonade stand! Business Fail.
So next Saturday is the big fall neighborhood garage sale and since we are moving we are cleaning out every single nook and selling what we don't need or anything that won't fit in the "new decor". We haven't picked our "featured item" yet but I plan on winning this year.
I love garbage sale day!
Friday, September 9, 2011
Sticking to my resolution
So you know how you make a New Year's resolution and you stick to it for like 2 weeks, well I am a few days into my resolution about blogging more and I have already posted 2 posts. You're Welcome.
My Stoonks started gymnastics last week and for whatever cute reason she calls it Massachusetts. She learned the word from her teacher that was taking a trip there and now everything is Mass-a-ju-jets. It's cute. Yesterday she worked on the balance beam and some pole exercises. My sister asked me if Avery will be flat chested and not get her period until she's 30 like other gymnasts. Um, from 2 lessons where for half the time they jump on a trampoline, I don't think so Steph!
She really is a natural athlete. Her form and her persistancy really are apparent at gymnastics. I really want her to be athletic. That's the one thing I wish my parents forced me to be. I am hoping she get Albert's athleticism.....but with my smarts =)
You wanna see something cute. She came home from school last week and showed me a picture she drew of "her mommy". She said she used a black crayon because I have black hair. I don't remember wearing a purple dress with yellow sleeves paired with green leggings but ok. I really think the face looks like me, especially the big round Mike Tyson-like nose. This is a framer.
I hope next week they ask her to color "her daddy". Then we each can have one framed for our nightstands.
My Stoonks started gymnastics last week and for whatever cute reason she calls it Massachusetts. She learned the word from her teacher that was taking a trip there and now everything is Mass-a-ju-jets. It's cute. Yesterday she worked on the balance beam and some pole exercises. My sister asked me if Avery will be flat chested and not get her period until she's 30 like other gymnasts. Um, from 2 lessons where for half the time they jump on a trampoline, I don't think so Steph!
You wanna see something cute. She came home from school last week and showed me a picture she drew of "her mommy". She said she used a black crayon because I have black hair. I don't remember wearing a purple dress with yellow sleeves paired with green leggings but ok. I really think the face looks like me, especially the big round Mike Tyson-like nose. This is a framer.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
My New Year's Resolution
It's September so I figured it was time to make and keep a resolution. I will blog more. I will blog more because I want to make sure I am capturing the moments in Avery's life that I swear I will never forget but know someday I will. If you ask my mom the cute things I did when I was three I swear she just makes them up, because she doesn't remember. So I promise to carry my camera more, blog more and then print out the posts for Avery. So you better become a follower of this if you're as nosy as I am and need to know what's going on. Just stalk me, like I do to Kelle Hampton. If you don't know about Kelle then click on the link and catch up. Then you may be able to join our stalker fan club that Marissa and I created. To become a member you have to read at least 40 posts to catch up then check her site every 2 days for new posts. Then google Isle of Capri and become familiar with the location....more to come on that.
My friend introduced me to picnik, which is not a new thing but new to me. So now I am having fun with my pictures, which tells a better story than words.
This is Avery's concentration tongue. Whenever she is really into something her tongue comes out. I used to do the exact same thing so at least she got something from me. She continues to play school each and everyday. She takes what she learns from her school and brings it into her playroom. Her kids in her fake class are all named by her. We have: Big Baby, Purple Baby, Little Woody, Olivia, Patrick (which is a girl doll), the infamous Jack and Nolan (which are also girls minus pants), Meerkat, Old Swim Baby, New Swim Baby, Old Teddy Bear, New Teddy Bear, Tangled, Rudolph, Tiny Eyes, Tiny Eyes' brother, Meredith, Callie, Little Riley, Little Avery, Dora and of course Baby Daddy. She loves reading to them and if you see in the background of this picture she gives them all jobs. The reason why Daddy's name is sideways is because he got in trouble and got a warning. One more time and he loses his job. Today he was light helper. She will stop what she's doing and yell "Tiny Eyes, that is NOT ok! that's it you get a warning." When I ask what Tiny Eyes did to receive a warning she tells me that he "pushed Baby Daddy and that's not good choices." Funny, I didn't see Tiny Eyes moves his little plastic body, but ok.
I mean, this is just funny. Teddy Bear was napping with his eye cover! When Olivia gets in trouble she yells "Olivia, get in yours box, OLIVIA, your ear is hanging out, get your ear in your box and you can come out when you make right choices." Poor Olivia, I checked on her the next day and she was still in her box, lid closed and in time out. I wonder what she did to deserve 2 days of box time??
Legs crossed and foot shaking is her new thing.
My girl is funny. Funny to the point where I LOL everytime she opens her mouth. She has talked for a constant 6 days straight. I will hear Albert from the other room asking "is she still talking?" YEP! She's a big girl and I'm so proud of this next move she made:
"MOMMY! I need a mag-a-zune".
Um ok, here ya go I just picked up the latest People Magazine, I guess you can read it first but don't do the crossword puzzle, that's mommy's favorite.
I hear banging, I walk out from her room to see this site
That's just funny stuff!!! It looks like I staged this just so she seems funny, but I don't. This is all her. She gets up tells me she did a dinosaur poop, waves bye bye dinosaur and flushes. She tells me she went poop poop so she gets "3 monies". I give her 3 quarters for her "poggey bank" and she's as happy as can be.
After a long day of play, we read stories and say thank you to each other for all the fun things we did. it's my favorite part. An hour later I check on her and without fail she is sleeping some sort of craziness. The other night I peeked in and she wasn't in her bed. I had a split second of a Jon Benet situation, but then looked down. Oh, ok if you're more comfortable like that, it's fine with me.
My friend introduced me to picnik, which is not a new thing but new to me. So now I am having fun with my pictures, which tells a better story than words.
Legs crossed and foot shaking is her new thing.
My girl is funny. Funny to the point where I LOL everytime she opens her mouth. She has talked for a constant 6 days straight. I will hear Albert from the other room asking "is she still talking?" YEP! She's a big girl and I'm so proud of this next move she made:
"MOMMY! I need a mag-a-zune".
Um ok, here ya go I just picked up the latest People Magazine, I guess you can read it first but don't do the crossword puzzle, that's mommy's favorite.
I hear banging, I walk out from her room to see this site
After a long day of play, we read stories and say thank you to each other for all the fun things we did. it's my favorite part. An hour later I check on her and without fail she is sleeping some sort of craziness. The other night I peeked in and she wasn't in her bed. I had a split second of a Jon Benet situation, but then looked down. Oh, ok if you're more comfortable like that, it's fine with me.
I love my little Stoonks.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Who peed in my cornflakes today?
Disclaimer: not for the weak stomached, or the easily offended.
I knew that wouldn't scare anyone.
To make this easier to read and to make sure I don't miss anything I will break this post down like an episode of 24. (What does 24 + 16 =?.....that's right, 40. The number of hours I have been awake).
All is good Friday, we had a great day watching the Smurfs and shopping at the mall, blah blah blah.
Friday 8pm: Pitch a weekend tent in the living room so we can enjoy some A.C. camping. Equipped with nature sounds from an Ipad App and some camping snacks.
11pm: Albert and I get in the tent for some late night How I Met Your Mother, season 5 that just came in the mail from Amazon.
1am: This is where the fun begins. Wake Albert up from the tent and carry him to bed, I hop into bed and think "do I need to go pee one more time before bed so I don't have to get up at 5am and do it then?" Yes. Now usually I just walk in the bathroom, lights off, do my biz and leave but last night, for some reason, I turned on one of the lights in the bathroom 2 steps away from stepping through the pocket door where the bowl is and low and behold, on the floor next to the toilet a SNAKE! I scream, jump on the counter top and yell "a snake a snake!!!!!". (I saw a Palmetto bug in the bathroom a few nights ago and I have a fear of those, such a fear I think I need to find a Palmetto bugs anonymous meeting. So I told Albert I need a code word for the next time I see a Palmetto bug in the bathroom. Not sure why I need a code word for things besides it's just plain fun. So we come up with Succotash. The next night I see another Palmetto bug, I yell Succotash and Albert comes running with a shoe). So anyway, I'm yelling snake because I don't have a code word for snake, Albert asks if I'm kidding then comes in the bathroom to see me hyperventilating. I point and breathe and he takes one look and says "holy shit, where did it come from?" I DON'T KNOW, THE PET STORE NOW GET IT OUT OF HERE." I guess I should tell you it was a baby snake, more like a worm on steroids, but still I swear it hissed at me. Albert leaves me alone in the bathroom to keep an eye on it while he heads to the garage. I figured he would just pick it up and throw it out the door. Nope. He comes back with garden gloves, a small shovel and a huge shovel. Ummmmm, you're not killing an 18 foot King Cobra, but he was equipped as though he was. Three bangs from the shovel and the little bastard was in three pieces, still moving...... and to make it better he released a defense odor called musking (I googled dead baby snake smell) that smelled like HELL.
3am: Finally settle in bed and try to close my eyes but visions of snakes dance in my head. I finally doze and 20 minutes later I hear Avery screaming from her room. I jump up and go in there just thinking she had a bad dream. I open the door and ask if she's ok and she's sitting up pointing to her pillow. I get closer and get a whif and oh boy, she had barfed all over her pillow, laid back down in it and now it's EVERYWHERE. Chunks and old pasta noodles and the smell. I feel so bad for her, I pick her up and put her in the bathtub to get all cleaned up. I get her dressed, put her in my bed with Albert while I clean her sheets. I walk back in my room, rub her little head, no fever, she's acting fine. What the heck? She sits up and projectile vomits all over me, our bed, our blankets, everything. Clean her up again, Albert does this load and changes everything.
5am: Stilllllllll puking. By this point it's all gatorade and I have already googled what I should do and it seems as though the ER is the only option and as long as she's hydrated there's nothing they can do. So we choose to wait it out.
6:45am: She's done puking. I really thought maybe she had snuck out of her room to go drink at a friend's house. I mean, that's what I used to do. We finally fall asleep.
7:30am: Riley wakes up and had slept through this all.
8am: Albert and Riley decide to play kurplunk and Don't Break the Ice. REALLY?!?! Avery and I are trying to catch a few hours of shut eye and you decide to play the loudest games in the house. Why not just bring out the Hungry Hippo game while you're at it! If I hear one more marble drop from Kurplunk or one more tap tap tap from Don't Break the Ice I'm gonna lose it on both of them.
9am: Albert tells me he's going to take Riley to his parents so they can play and he can nap for an hour or so. Ok, bye now, I'll meet you when Avery gets up and if she feels better.
9:15am: Albert calls, he got a flat tire pulling out of the neighborhood, he's going to drive on it up the street to Tire choice, can I pick him and Riley up?
9:16am: WHAT THE MOTHER F, I say to myself.
10am: get Avery dressed and out the door to pick up one exhausted daddy and one chipper 7 year old.
10:30am: we get to Albert's parents and our 2 little nephews are there. We play, we swim, we eat, WE DON'T NAP.
6pm: finally decide we have had enough and head back home. Avery is feeling great, Albert and I haven't said 3 words all day because we can't muster the energy to talk.
8pm: Albert and the girls are sleeping.
12:45am: i finally fall asleep because at this point it's been 40 hours of awake time and I'm overly exhausted.
It was a crazy day but the semi good news is today (Monday) Avery had her 3 year well visit and the doc said it was food poisoning and it has passed. Avery is 100% in her height (I think she got that gene from my dad) and 60% on her weight. So she's super tall and skinny. What a model. I asked the doctor when the appropriate age would be for me to start waxing her uni brow. Crickets. I hope I don't need to find a new pediatrician.
So when people ask me "who peed in your cornflakes today" which by the way is the most annoying saying of all times, I will simply tell them to refer to my blog post.
I would like the following unknowingly sponsors:
5 hour Energy
Terminex
Good Day.
I knew that wouldn't scare anyone.
To make this easier to read and to make sure I don't miss anything I will break this post down like an episode of 24. (What does 24 + 16 =?.....that's right, 40. The number of hours I have been awake).
All is good Friday, we had a great day watching the Smurfs and shopping at the mall, blah blah blah.
Friday 8pm: Pitch a weekend tent in the living room so we can enjoy some A.C. camping. Equipped with nature sounds from an Ipad App and some camping snacks.
11pm: Albert and I get in the tent for some late night How I Met Your Mother, season 5 that just came in the mail from Amazon.
1am: This is where the fun begins. Wake Albert up from the tent and carry him to bed, I hop into bed and think "do I need to go pee one more time before bed so I don't have to get up at 5am and do it then?" Yes. Now usually I just walk in the bathroom, lights off, do my biz and leave but last night, for some reason, I turned on one of the lights in the bathroom 2 steps away from stepping through the pocket door where the bowl is and low and behold, on the floor next to the toilet a SNAKE! I scream, jump on the counter top and yell "a snake a snake!!!!!". (I saw a Palmetto bug in the bathroom a few nights ago and I have a fear of those, such a fear I think I need to find a Palmetto bugs anonymous meeting. So I told Albert I need a code word for the next time I see a Palmetto bug in the bathroom. Not sure why I need a code word for things besides it's just plain fun. So we come up with Succotash. The next night I see another Palmetto bug, I yell Succotash and Albert comes running with a shoe). So anyway, I'm yelling snake because I don't have a code word for snake, Albert asks if I'm kidding then comes in the bathroom to see me hyperventilating. I point and breathe and he takes one look and says "holy shit, where did it come from?" I DON'T KNOW, THE PET STORE NOW GET IT OUT OF HERE." I guess I should tell you it was a baby snake, more like a worm on steroids, but still I swear it hissed at me. Albert leaves me alone in the bathroom to keep an eye on it while he heads to the garage. I figured he would just pick it up and throw it out the door. Nope. He comes back with garden gloves, a small shovel and a huge shovel. Ummmmm, you're not killing an 18 foot King Cobra, but he was equipped as though he was. Three bangs from the shovel and the little bastard was in three pieces, still moving...... and to make it better he released a defense odor called musking (I googled dead baby snake smell) that smelled like HELL.
3am: Finally settle in bed and try to close my eyes but visions of snakes dance in my head. I finally doze and 20 minutes later I hear Avery screaming from her room. I jump up and go in there just thinking she had a bad dream. I open the door and ask if she's ok and she's sitting up pointing to her pillow. I get closer and get a whif and oh boy, she had barfed all over her pillow, laid back down in it and now it's EVERYWHERE. Chunks and old pasta noodles and the smell. I feel so bad for her, I pick her up and put her in the bathtub to get all cleaned up. I get her dressed, put her in my bed with Albert while I clean her sheets. I walk back in my room, rub her little head, no fever, she's acting fine. What the heck? She sits up and projectile vomits all over me, our bed, our blankets, everything. Clean her up again, Albert does this load and changes everything.
5am: Stilllllllll puking. By this point it's all gatorade and I have already googled what I should do and it seems as though the ER is the only option and as long as she's hydrated there's nothing they can do. So we choose to wait it out.
6:45am: She's done puking. I really thought maybe she had snuck out of her room to go drink at a friend's house. I mean, that's what I used to do. We finally fall asleep.
7:30am: Riley wakes up and had slept through this all.
8am: Albert and Riley decide to play kurplunk and Don't Break the Ice. REALLY?!?! Avery and I are trying to catch a few hours of shut eye and you decide to play the loudest games in the house. Why not just bring out the Hungry Hippo game while you're at it! If I hear one more marble drop from Kurplunk or one more tap tap tap from Don't Break the Ice I'm gonna lose it on both of them.
9am: Albert tells me he's going to take Riley to his parents so they can play and he can nap for an hour or so. Ok, bye now, I'll meet you when Avery gets up and if she feels better.
9:15am: Albert calls, he got a flat tire pulling out of the neighborhood, he's going to drive on it up the street to Tire choice, can I pick him and Riley up?
9:16am: WHAT THE MOTHER F, I say to myself.
10am: get Avery dressed and out the door to pick up one exhausted daddy and one chipper 7 year old.
10:30am: we get to Albert's parents and our 2 little nephews are there. We play, we swim, we eat, WE DON'T NAP.
6pm: finally decide we have had enough and head back home. Avery is feeling great, Albert and I haven't said 3 words all day because we can't muster the energy to talk.
8pm: Albert and the girls are sleeping.
12:45am: i finally fall asleep because at this point it's been 40 hours of awake time and I'm overly exhausted.
It was a crazy day but the semi good news is today (Monday) Avery had her 3 year well visit and the doc said it was food poisoning and it has passed. Avery is 100% in her height (I think she got that gene from my dad) and 60% on her weight. So she's super tall and skinny. What a model. I asked the doctor when the appropriate age would be for me to start waxing her uni brow. Crickets. I hope I don't need to find a new pediatrician.
So when people ask me "who peed in your cornflakes today" which by the way is the most annoying saying of all times, I will simply tell them to refer to my blog post.
I would like the following unknowingly sponsors:
5 hour Energy
Terminex
Good Day.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Avery's Baby Daddy
Avery received some gift cards for Toy's R Us for her birthday and we were waiting for the perfect "rainy day" to hit the toy store (which she calls Toy Story, she gets confused) and roam the isles. Yesterday was the perfect day to do so. I picked her up from school and she was very excited to go to the Toy Story. I asked her what she wanted and at first she said "another buzz Lightyear", again she was all confused and thought she could only get Toy Story things at the Toy Store. Plus, there was no way we were getting another $40 Buzz Lightyear. After I explained the complexity of the Toy Store she got it and when I asked her what she wanted again, she said "um my tink I want a daddy for my babies". Ok, whatever you want it's your gift cards.
Oh please let there be a daddy doll, I am thinking prob not but who knows.
After perusing the aisles a bit she picked out talking twin dolls one with brown hair, one with blonde hair that she so fittingly named "Avery and Riley", an Olivia the Pig Jack in the box (you wind it up and Olivia pops out, scares her everytime), and of course we can't find a daddy. Then all of a sudden she runs to a box of boy babies and low and behold she yelps "my found a daddy baby". Apparently if you are a boy baby, you are the daddy. She was so excited I couldn't I say no. We were well beyond our gift card denominations at this point but whatev. Introducing the daddy for her dolls:
Isn't he cute? I said well Avery you have to name him. "um how about Terrance". PAHAHAHA!! Terrance is a little boy in her class.
"Well since he's a daddy, he needs a daddy name."
She then replies, well how 'bout Baby Daddy". PHAHAHAH even more!
Ok so there you have it, Avery names her new doll "Baby Daddy" and that's fine with me. Avery's Baby Daddy is pretty cool, he mows the carpet and drives a pretty dope ride.
I hope her dolls respect their daddy, even if he drives a hot pink convertible.
Oh please let there be a daddy doll, I am thinking prob not but who knows.
After perusing the aisles a bit she picked out talking twin dolls one with brown hair, one with blonde hair that she so fittingly named "Avery and Riley", an Olivia the Pig Jack in the box (you wind it up and Olivia pops out, scares her everytime), and of course we can't find a daddy. Then all of a sudden she runs to a box of boy babies and low and behold she yelps "my found a daddy baby". Apparently if you are a boy baby, you are the daddy. She was so excited I couldn't I say no. We were well beyond our gift card denominations at this point but whatev. Introducing the daddy for her dolls:
"Well since he's a daddy, he needs a daddy name."
She then replies, well how 'bout Baby Daddy". PHAHAHAH even more!
Ok so there you have it, Avery names her new doll "Baby Daddy" and that's fine with me. Avery's Baby Daddy is pretty cool, he mows the carpet and drives a pretty dope ride.
I hope her dolls respect their daddy, even if he drives a hot pink convertible.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
It's A Boiler Out There
The summer's been hot, humid and sticky. We are pool moochers. Meaning, we don't have a pool at our house so we mooch off other people's pools. This weekend we went to the Deckers' pool party. Always a great time with great friends and a ton of laughs. Things have sure changed though, changed in the fact that most of us have kids now. So the pool party is split in shifts.
First Shift: the peeps in the clique with kids that leave a little early. Second Shift: the peeps in the clique that put their kids to nap in the back room so they can grab an hour of beer drinking and socializing and the Third Shift: our friend "Wayne" (name has been changed to protect his identity). "Wayne" comes at 6:30pm to an afternoon BBQ to make sure all the kids are gone. He walks in with his survival kit, better known as his "I'm gonna get so wasted and pass out on your air mattress" kit. It consists of a Langford Construction T-shirt and beer. I ask him where his toothbrush is and he holds up his index finger. Gross.
He walks in and before he even says hi he looks at me and says "Greenbaum, I have put on some weight in my stomach and I am allowing you ONE jab, one jab only!".
"ONE JAB ONLY?!!?" You can't do that to me, you know how much I love to make fun of you. But since I have become kinder and gentler I respect his wishes and save it.
We sit, play pool games, throw the frisbee and get to know all the cute kids we have. It's a fabulous day and a great way to spend our Saturday. The families with kids start to trickle out and we are still hangin' on until it's time for us to leave too. We get home and I realize I left my shoes there! Sounds like a good excuse right? But I really did. So I put Albert and Avery on the couch for a little TV time and I head back over. I head back because I really want my flip flops and I never got to make fun of "Wayne". I walk in and have a seat outside on the patio next to "Wayne" and I look over and spilling out of my mouth comes "HOLY SHIT, THAT THING LOOKS LIKE AN ALBINO PUMPKIN". My boy "Wayne" has a boiler!
Wayne was sportin' this whiter than snow hard belly. It was amazing. He wanted me to touch it but I was scared, he was proud. He proceeded to tell us that the 22 year he's seeing likes it. Sorry "Wayne", unless she has a boiler herself she doesn't find it sexy. I suggested we get some orange paint and paint a pumpkin on it. His belly button looks like the pumpkin's "O" face. It's hilarious. He then tells us he does sit ups every night. That's great now he's just building muscle on top of the fat and it's growing. The little black hairs on it make it look manly. I love my BFF Wade, I mean "Wayne".
I think next year he has a good shot at being the 2012 Boiler Belly Winner.
First Shift: the peeps in the clique with kids that leave a little early. Second Shift: the peeps in the clique that put their kids to nap in the back room so they can grab an hour of beer drinking and socializing and the Third Shift: our friend "Wayne" (name has been changed to protect his identity). "Wayne" comes at 6:30pm to an afternoon BBQ to make sure all the kids are gone. He walks in with his survival kit, better known as his "I'm gonna get so wasted and pass out on your air mattress" kit. It consists of a Langford Construction T-shirt and beer. I ask him where his toothbrush is and he holds up his index finger. Gross.
He walks in and before he even says hi he looks at me and says "Greenbaum, I have put on some weight in my stomach and I am allowing you ONE jab, one jab only!".
"ONE JAB ONLY?!!?" You can't do that to me, you know how much I love to make fun of you. But since I have become kinder and gentler I respect his wishes and save it.
We sit, play pool games, throw the frisbee and get to know all the cute kids we have. It's a fabulous day and a great way to spend our Saturday. The families with kids start to trickle out and we are still hangin' on until it's time for us to leave too. We get home and I realize I left my shoes there! Sounds like a good excuse right? But I really did. So I put Albert and Avery on the couch for a little TV time and I head back over. I head back because I really want my flip flops and I never got to make fun of "Wayne". I walk in and have a seat outside on the patio next to "Wayne" and I look over and spilling out of my mouth comes "HOLY SHIT, THAT THING LOOKS LIKE AN ALBINO PUMPKIN". My boy "Wayne" has a boiler!
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I think next year he has a good shot at being the 2012 Boiler Belly Winner.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Moosie Pants-Today she's 3 years old.
Today is my little girl's 3rd birthday and holy cow I can't believe it. She has grown up so much over the last year and it's hard to believe another year has passed. It seemed like when she was born EVERYONE said "enjoy it, they grow up so fast" and man o man was I tired of hearing that. I thought "I'm exhausted, I haven't slept in months how the hell is this going to go by so fast" and BAM, it does. Now I am the person that tells the people with the newborns "that it goes by so fast". In my mind she will be cute and precious and three her whole life but I know better than that.
I will start a new book this week about raising a "strong willed" child, because that's what she is. A friend of mine suggested it and the book says that strong willed children are the ones that grow up to be successful because they are independent and not pushovers. Man, I hope it's true and it pays off. She is the best little girl in the whole world but I think, at times, she outsmarts me and she knows exactly what's she's doing.
She speaks in opposites, for example " mommy it's so cold out here" when in fact it's 95 degrees out. She tells me to "shut door off" when she wants her bedroom door closed. When she wants to do something on her own she tells me "My don't know how to do that by myself". You have to know that means she CAN do it. She loves school and has 2 bo-friends Jack and Nolan. She hugs all her friends when she leaves and then we come home and play school where she pretends she's her teacher, Ms. Palso and I am a kid. I have to sit on "blue carpet" while she reads stories. All of a sudden out of no where one her plastic babies will start talking and down on 2 knees, eye to eye she says to them "are you talking in my classroom? That is not OK, one more time and you go to time out". About 4 seconds later plastic naked baby is in the living room in time out. She'll leave her there for about 2 days. I think 2 days in time out is good enough.
I don't know if it's normal or not, but I stare at her when she sleeps and kiss her all over, I pinch that tushy and sometimes we french kiss (not really a french kiss but for some reason she likes to lick my chapstick) of course I let her. I smell her like a crazy person because there's nothing better than that. I love her morning breath because it has this little fish odor that I can't get enough of. When she first wakes up every morning (which is about 9:30am, my baby is a sleeper!) I just lay with her and snug and she'll turn to me and ask "mommy are you my best friend?" I cry and say yes then give her breath a whiff. SHE'S 3 AND I WANT TO KEEP IT THAT WAY.....
Here are some pictures of her on her bday each year. I must have taken 7 million pictures over the past few years and looking through them with Avery is so much fun. She will see a picture of herself as a baby and say "ahhh look at dat baby, so cute". When I tell her that cute baby is her, she doesn't understand.
Everything has been pretty by the book, she's potty trained, she writes her name, she walked on time, she went through some terrible 2's and when she warms up to you she is your BFF. When she doesn't like you, she will tell you. We are working on that. I fear she will embarrass me in public, like when we walked in the pet store the other day and she said "eww mommy it stinks in here" and then held her nose the whole time. We are working on that too.....
Happy 3rd birthday to the single best thing that I have done! To the best thing that has ever happened to me and the love of my life, my little Moosie Pants.
I will start a new book this week about raising a "strong willed" child, because that's what she is. A friend of mine suggested it and the book says that strong willed children are the ones that grow up to be successful because they are independent and not pushovers. Man, I hope it's true and it pays off. She is the best little girl in the whole world but I think, at times, she outsmarts me and she knows exactly what's she's doing.
She speaks in opposites, for example " mommy it's so cold out here" when in fact it's 95 degrees out. She tells me to "shut door off" when she wants her bedroom door closed. When she wants to do something on her own she tells me "My don't know how to do that by myself". You have to know that means she CAN do it. She loves school and has 2 bo-friends Jack and Nolan. She hugs all her friends when she leaves and then we come home and play school where she pretends she's her teacher, Ms. Palso and I am a kid. I have to sit on "blue carpet" while she reads stories. All of a sudden out of no where one her plastic babies will start talking and down on 2 knees, eye to eye she says to them "are you talking in my classroom? That is not OK, one more time and you go to time out". About 4 seconds later plastic naked baby is in the living room in time out. She'll leave her there for about 2 days. I think 2 days in time out is good enough.
I don't know if it's normal or not, but I stare at her when she sleeps and kiss her all over, I pinch that tushy and sometimes we french kiss (not really a french kiss but for some reason she likes to lick my chapstick) of course I let her. I smell her like a crazy person because there's nothing better than that. I love her morning breath because it has this little fish odor that I can't get enough of. When she first wakes up every morning (which is about 9:30am, my baby is a sleeper!) I just lay with her and snug and she'll turn to me and ask "mommy are you my best friend?" I cry and say yes then give her breath a whiff. SHE'S 3 AND I WANT TO KEEP IT THAT WAY.....
Here are some pictures of her on her bday each year. I must have taken 7 million pictures over the past few years and looking through them with Avery is so much fun. She will see a picture of herself as a baby and say "ahhh look at dat baby, so cute". When I tell her that cute baby is her, she doesn't understand.
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| On my way to the hospital |
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| But wait....a small little contraction |
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| Hold on, I can't go without my push present. |
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| ....and I push and lay and throw up for 13 hours |
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| 34 week sonogram, I can't believe how much she looks like this! |
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| Here's that little face the day she was born. |
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| and here was that hair 3 days after she was born. We called her "fluff top" |
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| After my shower, she was 2 days old and I was so scared her head was going to fall off |
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| First bath in the tub. I think she likes it! |
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| One month birthday (my camera date is off). |
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| My baby's last bottle on her first birthday! |
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| First birthday |
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| First birthday pool party. She looked like my son in this pic!! |
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| 2nd birthday |
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| Circus party for her 2nd birthday! |
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| Typical Avery face because she's probably thirsty or cold or something. |
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| 2nd birthday, tough girl. |
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| A little 'mutz on her face (thats jew for Scmutz) |
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| 3rd birthday party at the beach |
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| Blowing out her three candles |
Happy 3rd birthday to the single best thing that I have done! To the best thing that has ever happened to me and the love of my life, my little Moosie Pants.
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